It is hard for me to feel lucky when I can never catch a break. I can't stop wanting. Instead of wanting, I lie to myself saying whatever I "need" is deserving. That's bullshit and I know it. I have no deserving qualities. You have to have compassion to be a saint, talent to be an artist, beauty to be a model. I'll be lucky the next time around.
It is all a give n' take.
Life is always just a fucking give n' take.
Maybe you're right. I mean, it is really hard to feel "lucky," especially when it seems as though you can never, as you say, catch a break. But I've learned that sometimes you have to make your own luck, in a way. I don't know if that makes any sense, and I don't know if what I'm saying means anything, but it's like...luck is everywhere. It's how you choose to define "lucky" and "unlucky" that counts--or whether you're just going to let someone else determine that definition for you, rather than trying to open yourself up to the idea that maybe being lucky isn't necessarily about beauty or compassion or talent, unless you make it that.
ReplyDeleteI know it sounds really optimistic and all, but that's just what I've noticed, especially lately.